I'm a Loser

It always gets me happy when I see JD. No matter how caught up or stressed I am with other stuff, once I see him in person, my worries drain away naturally and instantaneously.

But lately, things are going amiss. For the past two weeks ever since anniversary, JD mood swings much too frequently. One moment we'd be laughing and next moment he'd be in a foul mood. The slightest disagreement would trigger his temper which would end up in two ways. Either he start a cold war and shoot me with constant side glances of the eye or start a quarrel and start saying hurtful things.

At first I thought he was very stressed at work due to pressure from his boss. I tolerated. Then this week, everything at work went smoothly. But for the whole of today, his face was black. He scolded me. He threaten to hit me. The worst was him giving me the side glances.

To me, contempt is the worst kind of attitude to show to a person. In my entire life, I have never once did that to anyone. Not to my family, not to my khakis, not even to people I don't get along with, simply because it is a display of utter disrespect, disregard and dislike.

I don't know why JD treats me like that these days. It's extremely torturing. Is it that I'm not doing enough as a bf? Is it that I'm still not up to his standard? Is it that JD don't love me anymore?

I don't know how to resolve the problem at all... just feel like crying right now...