Towards Singlehood

Just past midnight this morning, I had a long chat with JD. It's one of those rare occasions where we really talked at length face to face. And it's also one of those rare occasions he talked about his directions and his plans in life and in the relationship which to date I have no inkling of.

Then I realised how selfish and stereotyping JD is towards me. To him all AJs have split personas. In the day, they are humans living normal lives; In the night, they are rats on the prowl looking for alikes to satisfy their insatiable appetite. Isn't there not one single homosexual in this world that lives life with his mate in monogamy?

Each day I spent with JD, each bit I feel more miserable. I can feel his love towards me on weekends. He can be sweet and caring when he's free but to me it's like he's following a formula. One that he has formulated for a successful relationship. One that is for the benefit of both of us perhaps. To me, it doesn't seem to be working out.

I can't go on like this forever. I want to salvage but I don't know how. I think I have to end it soon... even though I know I'll come to regret this for the rest of my life.