Why Torture Yourself?

Yesterday night I had a long talk over the phone with a confidante. Mostly it was me doing the talking and the major part of the conversation was me lamenting about my relationship. I really needed a listening ear and was deeply grateful that he's willing to listen even though he has problems of his own... Thank you.

In retrospect, for 2 weeks, JD hardly wants to converse nor does he bothers to reply my sms-es. Phone conversations rarely lasted more than a minue. Most of the time Monster Hunter on PSP or Pokemon on PC took away the only chance that I could talk to him. Sometimes I chose to wait till 2am when JD's phone is off so as to leave voice messages. This way, it felt less agonising for me because I could listen to his voice and then I could talk for 2 minutes.

Then awhile ago I stumbled upon a forum. There was a particular thread on this guy who's in a similar plight and was trying to seek advice. One of the replies said that he should blame himself. He chose to enter a relationship with someone who work long hours and who decides that work is more important then spending quality time with him. Hence, he asked for it and should take responsibility for his own actions.

I stared at the reply for a length of time, then I thought to myself:

"He's right. Why am I torturing myself?"